I cannot find my penis.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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