in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
