Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
