your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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