Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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