I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
