I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
