You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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