You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Success! We fucked roommates!
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
