i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize