he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Randomize
