I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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