cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
