physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
