Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
