Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
handjob tips. give me some.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
