His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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