you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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