part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
