you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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