i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
MIDGETS
????
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
