Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I want to make a zoo with you.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
