you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Randomize
