i need an iv and a liver transplant
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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