Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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