I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
