he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Randomize
