everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
