True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
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