also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
