Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
