Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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