I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
