thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
