I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
this beer tastes like vomit already
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
