I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
