No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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