i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
