so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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