I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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