My brain says no but my pants say off.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
