woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Operation Purity has been aborted
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
