Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
