Your face is a jimmy john
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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