as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
