Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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