I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
