He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
