This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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