Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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