Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
