Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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