omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Randomize
