so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize