I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
