Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Every concussion has its silver lining
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
