he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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