I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
he's gonorrhea incarnate
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
