Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
