We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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