Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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