Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
this will be a night to untag.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
