ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
