she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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