Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize