There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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