It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
