i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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