laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
