dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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