"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize