I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
